What is psychotherapy?
Psychotherapy is intended for people who have a desire to become more authentic and present in the here and now. But the road to get there is not easy.
A visit to a psychotherapist can still have a negative connotation. It is acceptable that when we are physically injured the solution is to visit a physiotherapist, who offers us a set of exercises, training to strengthen the injured part of the body.
When we on the other hand suffers s part of us that is crucial for our wellbeing as a person and and our basis for positioning ourselves in the world, we can talk about suffering of the spirit (psyche). That's when visiting a psychotherapist can help us. Sometimes even recognising psychological suffering is difficult We may just notice that something is not right. It's not right in our well-being, our relationship with our loved ones or our everyday life.
Psychotherapy aims to raise awareness of these patterns, ways of acting and experiencing, which are no longer useful for us. In the psychotherapeutic process, the relationship between the client and the psychotherapist is important. The lessons are partly conducted in the form of a conversation, but above all, the contact between two people is important and healing.
Relationship between client and psychotherapist
In the therapy room in a safe environment, a client can explore what his truth actually is. He/she learns to be aware of experiencing body sensations, emotions and thoughts. It is the holistic awareness of a person at this moment. Awareness is the first support we need to solve problems. My task is to support and guide the client to strengthen his awareness. This is the first part of the therapy, which can mean a big change for the individual.
The relationship between the client and the therapist is very important in solving problems. It is important to establish trust in the relationship, so that gradually (in his own pace) the client can open painful and vulnerable parts of himself, which leads to a change that is often felt as the healing of wounds.
After trust has been established to some extent, we explore with the client how he experiences certain situations (most of which he chooses himself). We go into the best possible awareness of ourselves here and now, what is the need at this moment, what is the obstacle... I aim to support the client's curiosity in self-discovery of their strengths and fears. As another person in the therapy room, I occasionally share my experience in the moment or say something about myself (when it's supportive).
When does it make sense to come to therapy?
We often come to therapy with the idea that we should be different. We want to have certain qualities (to be stronger, braver, calmer, smarter, funnier, more determined...), then our problems will be over. The entire society and education is oriented towards the idea that changes in one direction or another will bring us happiness. Well, the problem is that when we start forcing ourselves to be different, we are further and further away from what actually is. We lose a lot of energy in internal struggles (conflicts). There are days when we are "good" and days when we slip up. There is a lot of guilt, judgment, ill will and struggle involved.
We usually decide on therapy when we feel like we are in a vicious circle in our lives. We cannot find a solution on our own and we are in trouble (we want change). It can happen to us that we have unsatisfactory relationships with others, conflicts that do not lead to solutions for example we cannot sleep, we have fears that are so unpleasant that they make our lives bitter, we are desperate, we have experienced a great loss... .there are many reasons to decide to come to therapy
When we grow up, we learn to deal with the world (surroundings) in a certain way. Some of these ways may not serve us well in adult life . Then it makes sense to visit a psychotherapist. The purpose of therapy is to be aware of how we come into contact with the environment and how we can make different decisions. Pattern changes take place holistically. We humans are holistic beings - we are emotional, mental, physical and spiritual. Real change involves all of these parts at once.
How does the change happen?
The way we come to real change, where we change in essence (and thus our behaviour) is a process that involves self-awareness and relationship so we can feel more supported, strong and present. A lot of energy is created (spontaneously) from a better awareness of our experience and needs, towards choosing more clearly a direction that makes sense for us.
An important part of therapy is the orientation towards accepting oneself at a certain moment. By this I mean accepting our experience - it is what it is. And from there we can change.
What does it mean to explore experience?
Research takes place in a specific moment, here and now. I guide the client to become aware of the current experience. This includes bodily sensations, emotions, thoughts and memories. This awareness provides us with orientation so that we may live a more satisfied and fulfilled life. Sometimes the emotional experience is so unpleasant and intense, that we need some time to gain strength and be able to stay with what is. Gradually in this process a change happens, something new and we no longer feel stuck in place. This is not as easy as it sounds. We need additional support that develops gradually from the relationship with the therapist, greater self-awareness and new positive experiences.
Experimenting with the new
In addition to exploring the experience at certain moments during the therapeutic hour, I can suggest experimenting or trying new ways. I can suggest a change of voice (volume), different sentences, body positions, a conversation with a person we imagine to be present... The purpose of these new attempts is not to change our behaviour but to be aware of how we feel in these situations, how we feel - emotions, feelings, thoughts, what we need or what we would like to express.
In all these "experiments", I trust that the person opposite me will find his own way (with support and good contact between us). I believe that each of us knows best what is meaningful, useful and nutritious for him.